You’re an addict,” the rehab counselor says firmly as she locks eyes with her young client. “And what’s more, you will always be an addict for as long as you live.”
Factually, her advice is correct. Addiction is a chronic disorder.
But does labeling a person “addict” do more harm than good?
“Whoa!”, you may be shouting at your screen right now. “Don’t you agree with the 12-Step Tradition?” I do. Read on and I’ll explain.
During my years in the mental health field, I’ve worked in many settings including inpatient crisis, rehab, intensive outpatient, and private practice. Much of my work has been with persons suffering from chemical and behavioral (aka, process) addictions.
Sometimes, I’ve had to speak with a client who, for one reason or another, had lapsed on booze or drugs. Here’s the response I’ve sometimes gotten:
“What do you expect? I’m an addict.”
At that point we have a little discussion about how that person is a whole human being. That there’s more to them than just addiction. That it’s on them to behave as a responsible citizen. And that they can no longer use their addiction as an excuse not to.
You see, I believe that what people tell themselves about themselves, and about other people and the world, directly affects their attitudes and how they behave.
For example, let’s say I have a client who’s struggling with depression. Would you agree that I should help her come to realize that she’s a person of worth? Who can find peace and contentment in her life?
If so, you’d be right. Positive self-talk leads to positive attitudes and behaviors.
But what if I told her to keep telling herself: “I’m a depressive.” You think that would help or hurt? If you answered the latter then you’d be right and I’d need to pursue another career. Now think of the negative connotation the word “addict” has for most people: slothful, self-indulgent, untrustworthy. Why would we ask people working to overcome chemical or behavioral dependency to think this way about themselves?
Radical Acceptance of Self
Which brings us to the 12-Step Tradition. I believe in it and strongly encourage my clients with addictions to regularly attend meetings and get a sponsor. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, and others, can be an integral part of recovery.
In the meetings, it’s absolutely appropriate—and necessary—for members to openly acknowledge their addictions. For example, “I am Joe, and I am an [alcoholic/drug addict/gambler, etc.].” That’s where you go to get real. Drop guilt. Get invaluable feedback from your peers who’ve been there, done that.
In my therapist job, I have a different yet complimentary role. My goal is to help clients achieve personal growth. To become all they can be. Which is why the only label I use is:
HUMAN BEING.
Sure, a person’s addiction is and always will be a part of them. But it’s not the only part. Being human means that we all must view ourselves as whole persons. With all of our strengths, weaknesses, challenges, likes, dislikes, values, goals and dreams.
In other words, a whole person perspective.
Here’s an example from my own life. I have high blood pressure, which I control with diet, exercise, and medication. But when socializing, I sure don’t go up to people and say, “Hi, I’m Jim and I’m a hypertensive.” That’d sound pretty bizarre and would probably get me a corner in the room all to myself.
More to the point, “hypertensive” only describes a part of me, not the whole. I’m also a husband, son, uncle, animal lover. My interests include going to the theater, history, the beach, and old buses (don’t question, just accept).
Removing the “addict” label carries with it the obligation to act as a responsible and mature citizen. This includes taking responsibility for working your recovery program every day and reaching out for help when you need it. As it’s my responsibility to manage my hypertension so I don’t vapor-lock behind the wheel doing 65 down the highway.
Whole human beings take care of themselves. We take our medications as needed. We go to work, pay our bills, play with our kids. And whether we have hypertension or addiction, we actively work our recovery programs. We celebrate ourselves for who we are, the good parts as well as the challenging ones. It’s a daily walk we all should gladly take with our heads held high.
I’d love to know what you think. Please feel free to reach out.
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